I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
