i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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