i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
