its not stalking. its research.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Text me some of your sweat
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
