How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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