Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
