He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
