they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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