I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
