So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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