What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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