I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
