i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
