haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
