he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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