Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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