please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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