I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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