we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
