How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
