I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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