I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
