I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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