You really coming over, don't trick.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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