Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
