AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize