Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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