Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
