It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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