she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
