dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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