ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
