So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
