i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
