Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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