ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
