Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize