i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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