I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
