Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude i'm inner monologue high
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
