Im at strip club and am horny
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
