While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
