I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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