Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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