apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
