she woke up with a sticky ear
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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