is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
