Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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