Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
