OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize