sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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