No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
