doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize