My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
