Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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