So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
