Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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