I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
